Donald Trump apologizes to nation, withdraws candidacy for president.

"I don't know what I was thinking", said Donald Trump in a press conference today, "After conversations with party leaders, the public and my therapist... I have determined I do not possess the skills or temperament to lead this great nation."

In further comments, he elaborated on how intense sessions with his personal therapist had helped him come to the realization that he has a lot to work on becoming a well-rounded, empathetic person.

"It mostly comes down to the narcissism", said Trump.  "The xenophobia, misogyny, the bullying and vulgarity...  they're in there too... just like my friend Mitt said. But I've realized I am an empty shell of a person without at least a little empathy, so I'm going to quit now and try to work on that".  While he went on to relate how he does have some skills and traits that he's proud of, he said "I just need to stop using what skills I have to abuse people and get attention, I now realize it can't always be about me".

A shocked silence descended upon the room of reporters hanging on his every word as he continued, "So I'm dropping out, and I've decided to back John Kasich and put some money behind his efforts, I figure it's the least I can do:  We need someone a lot more qualified that I was. "

He concluded the press conference by saying.  "My apologies to all I have offended in my absolutely insane quest for power.  With the time I have left on this earth, I'll be taking "The Giving Pledge" (http://givingpledge.org/) and working to put nearly all of my wealth to work for good charities.  Maybe that way, I can actually help make America great again."

How Many Environmentalists...

...does it take to change a light bulb? (Answer: more than we have!) Ever since the first cavemen huddle around a fire at night, the human race has sought inventions to light the darkness. And they have come. Torches and lamps and lanterns and candles and flares and arc lamps... and light bulbs. Invented in 1879, the incandescent light bulb has become a staple of modern life and a symbolic icon. Yet, they're being phased out now because there are much more energy-efficient alternatives.

A few days ago, I blogged about my attempts to use some early inexpensive LED bulbs, and the challenges you face using that technology. That same day, I ordered some new, more expensive LED bulbs to see how they would perform, and I think it's time to record my initial results.

I ordered a couple of different types of bulbs for my most current experiment, one costing about $25 (which produces 100+ lumens of light) and a more expensive $68 540-lumen bulb). The former consumes about 3 watts of electricity, the latter more like 9.

As I expected, I haven't had any reliability problems with these more-expensive bulbs (yet), but they are not without issues. The less expensive model still doesn't put out quite enough light to really light up room or hallway. I put it in my hallway, and it's a definite improvement over the cheaper bulb I had there previously, but as advertised, seems more like a 25 watt incandescent bulb.

The more expensive LED bulbs I tried are much closer to the light produced by standard 60-watt bulb, but have an odd problem. This model has a HUGE metal "heat sink" attached to the base of the bulb, which made it impossible for me to use it in most fixtures I attempted. And, even if it lasts a long time, it still costs $68!

So what to do? Go back to Mercury-laiden compact flourescent bulbs? Here's the experience of my friend and guest columnist, Zhon:

After buying my Toyota Camry Hybrid, I figured I would be ridiculed if I didn't try these new fangled planet saving light bulbs. I put three long lasting, landfill poising GE Helical 26 W light bulbs into my kitchen. Sadly, less then a month later one of the three burned out. Now I am sending this mercury laden thing off to poison my planet. Hmm... do I try again or go back to polluting the air?

There is a clear opportunity here for someone to make a gazillion dollars. The technology is here, but not yet perfected to satisfy our primal need to light the darkness with a minimum of energy and fuss. Maybe we just need more people to change the light bulb.

Contemplation in the Precipitation

Life and death. Weighty issues to contemplate as you skim the rain-soaked asphalt along the mighty Colorado River's carved-sandstone gorge. The tapping of raindrops on your helmet keep cadence for your spinning feet and rushing breath. The uninviting grey sky has muted the otherwise brilliant desert colors which surround you, as if asking you to turn down the volume on the world and listen to your own thoughts.

I rode the Moab Century (well, two-score miles of it anyway) this weekend, and spent some time away from my family (sorry, guys) with a couple of my very old (but only middle-aged!) friends, Tim and Brent.

• Life: I think the earliest memories we were sharing went all the way back to kindergarten and first grade at Morningside Elementary School. We talked about the pivotal decisions in our lives that led us to where we are: Spouses, jobs, schools, moves. We watched General Conference and thought about things beyond this life.

• Death: I ran over a rattlesnake (okay, it was roadkill). I was passed by speeding 4x4 trucks on a foot-wide shoulder that dropped 200 feet to the Colorado River. We talked about a mutual friend, Thane, we lost to cancer a few years ago. I felt my age, my weight, and the encumbrances of a half-lifetime slow me down, and stiffen my limbs.

I'm a lucky guy... I don't have a million friends and acquaintances, but I have a few great friends who have stuck around for the better part of my life. After musing about life and death in the rain for a few hours, there's no better way to end than by greeting those with whom it all began.

Road Trip!

I'm off to Moab. More details on Monday.

Wheels Coming Off

This is a great expression to use parenthetically. For example, "Yadda, yadda, blah, blah... and then the wheels came off". It expresses with great imagery how things went down the crapper (another great image) at the end of that sentence.

Apparently, I'm in danger of my wheels coming off. I've been told this on multiple occasions from multiple people. And not on my bike, either. Most modern (non-drugstore) bikes have these cool quick-release levers which allow you to take off the wheel to change the tire or perform maintenance. All you have to do is flip a little lever... no tools required. It seems this would put you in great danger of your wheel coming off. In actual fact, I once rode for several miles without engaging the little lever... but an ingenious metal ridge and gravity-friendly design ensured that my wheel and I did not part company.

But no, no... those aren't the wheels. No, the wheels we're talking about are put onto a solid steel axle the size of my fist with several lug nuts which you must lean on a two-foot wrench to remove. These wheels weigh nearly as much as my children. Unbelievably, they're on the verge of separation from my vehicle at any moment.

If you're a frequent reader of my blog (i.e., me, or someone I've asked more than once to read it) then you'll recall I had a traumatic flat tire a couple days back. Well, I got that fixed today, and the helpful mechanic said my balls were shot. Ball joints, that is... something in the wheel. Wisely, he did not threaten that my wheels were about to fly off as I finished plunking down nearly $600 for new SUV tires, but merely informed me in a friendly way. Kudos to the folks at Burt Brothers Tire. (By the way, my shocks are also shot.)

What is an enterprising programmer to do but consult "The Google"? Searching for Dodge Durango ball joints, I found a CBS News story which, you guessed it, told me my wheels were about to fall off, and mine is one of many vehicles are affected. These huge "balls of steel" are more vulnerable than they appear, perhaps.

Well, this is just perfect, because my very well-intentioned and safety-conscious sister, Jen, had just warned me a few days ago, that my other car's wheels were about to fall off, as well. It seems a similar wheel-ejecting phenomenon is present in the Honda Civic.

Man, and I thought my week was going so well there... and then the wheels came off.

Recalcitrant Polyglots

"Web developers". Sheesh. I've done my share of "web development" as a programmer (haven't we all?) No one would argue developing programs to be accessed with your web browser is very rewarding... if, for no other reason than the possibility that people might surf over to your site and accidentally use your software. Accidentally seems to be the way most software features get used these days.

Did you ever wonder what goes into making a "web application"? In most cases, there's a web browser on one end, and a relational database on the other. What comes between? Ay, there's the rub!

Usually, it's a framework. Java J2EE, PHP (LAMP), Ruby on Rails... and a whole lost more. Most of these make some attempt to implement a model-view-controller (MVC) architecture, where the concerns of visualizing data, storing data, and processing data are separated. Some also attempt to be object-oriented, often mapping relational-database concepts to programmatic "objects". As a programmer, you usually have one of two options at this point... specialize in one aspect of the MVC and/or object-oriented/relational programming paradigms, or embrace the fact that you suck at most of them, and work on a complete web site.

As a running theme in this blog, you can probably guess I've chosen to remain blissfully ignorant of the finer points of most web development in favor of generality. As such, I have to know something about several programming languages, including (but not limited to) HTML, JavaScript, Java and SQL. When I work on my UtahFeat.org website on Rails, substitute Ruby for Java. Often, these languages appear in sections in the same source code file. It gets pretty confusing, and the Ajax/Web 2.0 movement in web development frankly doesn't help.

As with many things in life, the strength of the internet is also it's weakness. Many standards, many (ahem...) disparate technologies and techniques and the bending of all these to many different purposes have produced a development platform only a recalcitrant polyglot could love.

Murphy's White Shirt

Ffffft ffffft ffffft... that was a weird sound. Why is that guy honking at me and pointing at the rear of my vehicle? Uh oh... that vibration is not good... something doesn't feel right. Must use side mirror to look down at tire... yep, flat. Smell of burning rubber... must pull over. Woah, that baby's trashed.

I blame myself. My wardrobe choices, to be specific. Any time you feel like dressing up and wear a nice, white dress shirt you're asking for trouble. Tempting fate. You might as well perform a mathematical proof of Murphy's Law. Usually, it's just painting my shirt with sauce from my lunch, but fate figured I was due for a little mortal peril this morning.

This isn't the first time I've written about a flat tire. I had a slow-leak flat a few days ago. Conducting a quick straw poll of my co-workers, all seem to report increased flattage in recent years. Is it more construction junk on the roads? cheaper tires? Who knows. All I know was that changing it was a big deal on the side of the freeway with my son in the car.

And after such a pleasant bike ride to work yesterday, too. Ever since I put tire liners in my bike tires, I've never had a flat bike tire. Steel-belted radials... harrumph!